Classic books for Market Research:
How to Win Friends & Influence People, by Dale Carnegie
How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 30 million copies. For decades it has been the first stop for those looking to improve their interaction with others.
But can a book that is nearly 100 years old really have anything to teach us today? (Spoiler: yes.)
Using examples from history, and his own varied business career, Carnegie outlines a set of guidelines for changing your communication style, and improving your relationships. The text has been skillfully revised since its original publication in 1936, keeping much of the original charm while freshening up the references for contemporary readers.
Despite the book’s success, many potential readers have been put off by an assumption that this is a manual for manipulation, full of tips on how to trick people. Actually it is quite different. Though Carnegie structures his book in terms of different rules and guidelines, these all come back to one underlying idea: you should treat people as people. Life will be consistently frustrating unless you recognise others’ humanity.
For those of us who work in research, there are many valuable ideas and approaches for building relationships which are mutually beneficial over the long term. Here are some of our favourites.
1) Become Genuinely Interested in Other People
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Each of us lives in a world where there is just one of us, and a whole load of everyone else. We think constantly about our own lives, our problems and plans. Everyone wants to talk (about themselves) but no one is listening, so we talk louder. If you listen, and ask questions about other people, their challenges and concerns, you will be a rare and precious person.
Carnegie points out that this is not about manipulating people. Your interest should be genuine! Instead of focusing on what you are going to tell other people, you consider what you might learn from them. After all, you don’t know as much as you think you do.
Market Research Application
Of all the ideas in this post, this is surely the most important for researchers.
For your work to be interesting to others, you must be interested in the topic, which means being interested in the people involved in that area. You need to care about their experiences, challenges and goals. The more interested you are in someone else, the more they will want to talk to you, and the better information you will uncover.
2) Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
Carnegie argues that after a person’s basic needs are taken care of, their primary concern is their status, or, as he describes it, “the desire for a feeling of importance.” He does not judge this feeling; in fact, he claims that is the defining quality of humanity, and that without it, “civilisation would have been impossible”.
As an example, he offers Charles Schwab, the first person in history to be paid a salary of $1million per year. When asked to explain his success, Schwab said that he was “hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise”. Put another way, Schwab made other people feel good about themselves.
As with the previous tip, this is not manipulation. It is not about flattery, which is described as “shallow, selfish and insincere. It ought to fail and it usually does.” Instead, you should look to find the good points in others (everyone has them!) and then celebrate them.
Market Research Application:
Everyone’s time is precious, and everyone’s viewpoint is valuable. Remember this, whoever you are speaking to, and the experience will be better for everyone.
3) Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
Once again, this rule springs from acknowledging others’ individuality and treating everyone with respect.
The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it - and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.
Knowing someone’s name means you give that person a certain importance. They are not one among many. Instead they are John. Or Sundeep. Or María. An individual.
Market Research Application:
Someone emails you asking for something, but they’ve spelled your name wrong. OK, it’s not really a big deal, but still... It’s such an easy thing to get right that to get it wrong displays a certain… sloppiness.
If you’re speaking to someone with an unfamiliar name, just ask them how to say it. No one minds and it shows that you are interested in properly connecting. If you are the one initiating contact, then you should also check online for pronunciation guidance.
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
As with point (1), it is essential to realise that almost all of our concern is directed inwards, at ourselves.
Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.
Most people are terrible listeners. Rather than take-in what the other person is saying, and showing genuine interest, they wait impatiently, closed-off, eager to broadcast their own opinions and stories. The world is short of listeners and long on talkers.
Carnegie gives the example of Sigmund Freud as a superb listener. According to a man who met Freud:
His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said, even when I said it badly, was extraordinary. You’ve no idea what it meant to be listened to like that.
Market Research Application
Everyone wants to feel heard.
You will have your own agenda in any interaction, but there must be space for the conversation to take its own direction. People have stories they want to tell. Those stories might not help you right now, but treating your partner as an individual to be respected, and not as a resource from which you are trying to extract value, is the basis for a long term relationship.
Also, be careful about offering your own perspective. If the other person wants to hear from you, they’ll ask; most of the time they’ll be more than happy for you to keep your opinions to yourself.
5) Arouse in the other person an eager want
Just because you want something, it doesn’t mean that other people will be interested in giving it to you. To them, what you want is neither here nor there.
Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.
Rather than concentrating on what you want from the world, think about how you can give other people what they want. Carnegie illustrates the principle with the example of going fishing. To catch fish, he baits the line with what fish like (worms) and not what he likes (strawberries and cream).
Market Research Application
If you are asking someone to give you their time, the fact that it will be useful to you is irrelevant. You need to persuade the other person that it will be useful to them: you must offer a reason which makes sense, based on their own wants. As Carnegie says, “the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”
Talk to us to find out how we can help you.